I Get it!

I've learned this past year to let go of my own inhibitions about team sports. I never liked them. I was never good at them. I didn't like trying out - not making the team, etc. I found my place with music - everyone wins - everyone participates - everyone (usually) has fun. Even if you're not the best player in the band - your part is still important. You are part of a group and you all need to work together to accomplish something great.

So between my past relationship with sports and Quinn's feet issues I was very leery about signing him up for any team sports. And then his Physical Education teacher suggested it. As she put it, "at this age - everyone plays and they really try to make it fun. Any experience he can get running with his friends will help him break into a true run eventually."

So - Quinn's played basketball, soccer, and tee ball this past year. And he's loved every single sport. If you ask him what his favorite is - it's whatever he's playing at the time. We're just finishing up a tee ball season - where I signed both Quinn and Liam up to play together.

I get it now. The boys love it. They cheer each other on. They pay attention to the game (most of the time). They know the rules. They've improved with catching and throwing. They respect their coaches. And they look adorable.

Quinn's also taking piano lessons and it got me thinking. Why are we doing this? I have no dreams/hopes of him becoming a professional musician/rock star. I believe most parents have their children participate in a musical activity to encourage a love and appreciation of music. By participating and not just observing you feel a deeper connection to the music.

And it hit me. Why not give my kids the same experience with sports? I don't believe either one of them will go on to play professionally - or even in college (well, maybe Liam, but that's another blog post in itself). I can expose them to a variety of sports and allow them to build a deeper connection with each through participation and not observation. It'll work for now - as the games aren't competitive and everyone makes the team. We'll see what happens when they're older. But I've put my own fear about not being good enough to play aside and I've allowed them to determine what they feel comfortable trying.

His Voice

So, after talking this over with my husband, we decided we thought signing Quinn up for Choir wouldn't hurt. It might even be good for him. Singing is a good stress relief and being a part of a musical group has always been something I've enjoyed.

But, Mike and I decided we'd pose the question to Quinn to see how we felt about it.

The other morning I simply said to him, "So, you've got swimming right after school on Mondays and basketball on Saturday mornings. That's it for now. Would you like to sign up for choir on Wednesdays or just stay home on Wednesdays?"

His decision was quick and without hesitation.

"Stay home!"

I'm glad I left this decision up to him - it's nice to be able to give my child a voice in what's going on in his life.

Over-scheduled, Again?

Ahhh - decisions. Decisions.


It wasn't too long ago when I was talking about how happy I was with our new schedule.


And here I go again - switching it all up.


During parent/teacher conferences in November we spoke with Quinn's P.E. teacher about his running skills (and other skills, too), but we were concerned with his running/speed after the surgery. She agreed that he was slower than most and didn't seem to "get it" yet. She thought it might not have only been from his surgery, but also a sort of developmental delay, since his feet/legs were never really how they were supposed to be. The important thing we took away from our conference was that she recommended we sign him up for group sports! She believes that the more practice he gets with other kids and encouragement from other adults - the better he'll get. It makes perfect sense. I've always been hesitant, if not "against", team sports for young kids - but after talking with some moms who have had their children in such activities I'm coming to learn that it's a very supportive environment. Plus - in the winter - where else is he going to get to run? So, we signed him up for basketball - on Saturday mornings.


Which means I had to switch his swim lessons to Mondays after school. And Liam joined swimming too - so he's taking lessons at the same time (which is good, because Mike doesn't have to rush home).


So now - Quinn has basketball on Saturday mornings and swimming on Mondays.


I've already learned that his new swim teacher is more challenging than his old one - I'm thrilled about this. He is not. He gets frustrated, "because she's always telling me how to do things."


I have a feeling that basketball may be frustrating for him as well.


And I'm excited and terrified about taking him somewhere that challenges him. On one hand - he needs a challenge - every academic area comes very easily to him. He just gets things. Easily. He rarely has to sound out a word to read it (but when he does he gets frustrated). His math skills are crazy. He needs to be involved in something that will teach him how to keep on trying! On the other hand - why should I challenge him? Shouldn't I just let him enjoy the things that are easy and fun for him?


And something I haven't talked about yet here, is that his classroom, at most times, is a frustrating/stressful place for him. (That, my friends, is an entire blog post - if not worthy of an entire blog.) Anyway, he's doing great academically (he was when he started), it's just there's about three kids in that class that are not getting the support they need and that causes an environment that can be a bit stressful. (Like I said, an entire blog post may be coming up soon about this when I can figure out how to put my words together about it all.)


So.... basketball Saturdays and swimming Mondays - perfect, right? Just two activities.


BUT, there's choir starting up - and he LOVED choir in the fall. It was easy for him. It was fun. He'd sing the songs all week long. And I know how much I enjoyed being involved in music and how much I think it helps with stress.


I just can't decide if it's worth signing him up for - one more night of either an early/rushed dinner or a late/rushed dinner.

Talking About Santa With a Thinker

Ahhh - the questions about Santa have begun this year. After Quinn's birthday party at the end of November we decided Quinn would choose half of his presents to donate to the various toy drives so that some children who don't have as much as we do could have a happier Christmas. He was good with this. But then he thought about it... "Well, we shouldn't worry too much about them, because Santa will bring them presents." Turns out other people only have one or two gifts come from Santa, the rest from Mom and Dad. We never did that. I may try to make that switch this year - I wonder if he'll remember.

We went and saw Santa at one mall - the same mall we go to every year. Then, I had some shopping to do at a different mall - and Santa was there! Quinn's first question was, "How many Santas are there?" And I just asked what he meant by that. And then he switched his thinking to, "Santa must have some really special magic to be able to go to our mall in the morning, this mall at night, AND be in that parade that was on TV the other day!"

And then there's the talk of "naughty or nice". Quinn truly believes that there are two boys in his class that are getting nothing for Christmas because they are so "naughty". And so I try to explain that somehow, Santa knows just how good each boy or girl can be and expects them to be their own best and that it's very hard for those two boys to control themselves and Santa might be a bit understanding with them. Quinn didn't like that answer.

And then tonight I had to do it. After weeks of fighting with his brother, arguing with his parents, and even lying - I've had enough - so I put the fear of Santa into Quinn. "You do know, that Santa's watching to make sure you're nice, right?" We had a nice long discussion that involved just a few tears, until I assured Quinn that he still has many days until Christmas, and that for the most part, he is a very very very good boy - just that I was a little worried that Santa wouldn't like all the fighting that's been going on. (I mean really, people, the boys have been fighting over moving ornaments, setting up the nativity scene, pushing the buttons on those things from hallmark that sing Christmas Songs, everything and anything they've been fighting over it and it's driving me BATTY.) So we discussed how many more days he has to add more to the nice side of his list and then he said, "Well, actually, since I'm at school more than I'm at home, I think I'm okay. I'm always nice at school."

Flowers on my Grave

The other day in the car Quinn says, "Mom, when you and Dad die I'll come and put flowers by your grave."

He's been a bit curious about death lately/for quite awhile now. Wondering how many more years until his Great-Grandmas pass away. Making "smart guesses" as to which one will die first. Wondering if it will hurt when he dies. Trying to understand how souls can go to Heaven, but the broken bodies stay in the ground.

Although I've given tips and tricks for talking to your kids about death - this topic is never easy. It has turned into many different discussions - my favorite being the one where we tried to explain that when your body is badly hurt (like in a car accident) it produces endorphines that stop the pain messages from getting to your brain - so no, it probably wouldn't hurt to die like that.

We don't like to not answer his questions - and we don't try to get out of the conversation, but I never knew that having a child who liked to think could be so difficult!

Over-scheduled no more!

There was one thing I knew I wanted to avoid before having kids.

And I did so well the first five years of being a parent. I avoided team-sports, because I truly believe before the age of 7 it's best to learn those sport-skills at home in your backyard with your family and friends. I would only sign the boys up for one activity at a time, if any. We would always have dinner together at a reasonable hour.

Then kindergarten started. Not only did kindergarten start, but full-day kindergarten started.

I had to keep Quinn in his swim lessons - he's made such great progress and if there's any competitive sport this child has a chance at it will be swimming. (All the other sports I'm afraid will put too much pressure on his feet.)

The local children's choir, which is a world class youth choral organization and is internationally renowned, begins with students at the kindergarten level. Quinn loves to sing. He loves to make up songs. And most importantly, he can carry a tune. So of course, we signed up for this.

This was in addition to the two nights or days a week of Quinn seeing his physical therapist to build his leg strength back up after his surgery.

The start of Quinn's school year wasn't quite the start I was hoping for. He'd have school Monday-Friday, of course. Tuesdays - choir, Wednesday - swim lessons, Thursday - therapy, and Saturday - therapy. That meant, dinner on Tuesdays was early, Wednesday and Thursday a late dinner, and no sleeping in or relaxing on Saturday mornings. It also meant Mike was rushing home from work on Wednesdays and Thursdays so we could get to where we needed to go without Liam! Quinn was tired. I was tired. We all were tired.

Oh! And we got a piano and so I've been teaching Quinn how to play. Over the summer we had no trouble finding time for our piano lessons (usually once a week while Liam was napping). Lately, we struggle to find the time and Quinn is always asking for a lesson.

Thankfully, we just got the okay from the doctor to end our physical therapy sessions.

And, I'm switching Quinn's swim lesson time from Wednesday evening to Saturday morning - less traffic to deal with and less rushing around after school.

That just leaves us with Tuesday evening choir - which I'm not giving up. Quinn loves it too much.

And Saturday morning swim lessons.

This will be much better. Much much better.

The other night we were eating dinner at our normal time, everyone finished up, and then Mike was performing his infamous magic trick of making something dissappear and then reappear in one of the kids' ear or something. Anyway, it was exactly how our family dinners should be. Relaxed. Not rushed to get the kids to bed. Not rushed to get the kids out the door.

I realize that our old schedule is nothing compared to what some families manage to accomplish in a week - and that's okay with me. I just know that for us, it wasn't working. I've also learned that I need to be careful with our scheduling.

Mornings Before School

After a month of getting everyone ready to go in the mornings I'm finding myself enjoy this time. I pack the lunches the night before, Mike feeds the kids their breakfast while I shower and then says goodbye, Quinn gets himself dressed and "brushed" (his way to say he brushed his hair and teeth), but most importantly - this is the time of day when my two boys play the best together. Most mornings they have a good hour to play together before we need to leave - they can either be found playing chess (Quinn's trying to teach Liam), Wipe-Out (jumping on the couch cushions), or just dancing around on Liam's bed. This playtime gives me plenty of time to empty the dishwasher and straighten up the kitchen before we go. It's been working wonderfully and I'm sure now that I've typed this up tomorrow will tell a different story all together.

Ready.

Tonight I asked Quinn if he was ready to do his therapy exercises. His response?

"Yup. I'm ready for just about anything."


***sorry if this is a repeat for my facebook friends - I tend to look back at my blog archive as a sort of scrapbook - then I can remember to add some of this stuff to our actual scrapbooks as I complete them. Anyway, this post is really just for me - but it's a good thing to share too.***

The Library

I took the boys to the library today. Which is really nothing out of the ordinary.

They each finished their summer reading logs - logging in over 15 hours of reading. I'm pretty sure we've read way more than that, but I always forget to give them the stickers to add to the charts and they usually forget to remind me.

Anyway, I took the boys to the library today. Which is really nothing out of the ordinary.

Except. I was looking for a few books for myself - not just browsing - I had a list (Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and something by Philipa McGregory).

Anyway, I was looking for a few books for myself and the boys were actually being pretty well behaved. In each aisle I spent time looking the boys would each find one of the little step stools provided and stand up on the top step and just sort of hang out. Perfect. They weren't bothering anybody, they weren't yelling at or pushing each other - they were just sort of hanging out.

Except my younger one - he doesn't just hang out. Quinn says to me, "hey, mom - watch this," so I look over at him to see him start to climb. "No way, put your foot down." I look past Quinn over at Liam. And Liam's step stool is empty - because he's up on the shelf.

I am not even kidding. He climbed up two shelves. From the step stool.

Thank goodness nobody else saw that - I wouldn't want to be banned from the library.

Oh right, and thank goodness the kid didn't get hurt.

What He's Taught Me

Things I've learned from Liam that I never learned from Quinn:

• How to unlock all the bedroom doors from the outside.
• Leave a coin outside the bathroom door so you can easily unlock it
• When going outside for any amount of time and leaving the kids inside - always bring your house keys.
• Make sure you also have a key for the screen door.
• When going into the basement for any amount of time bring this guy with you so that he doesn't lock the latch on the basement door while you are down there.
• How to set up the child-lock feature on my car.

I don't know what it is with this guy, but boy oh boy, does he get into everything. Today he decided he wanted to pee standing up - so he took the middle part of his little toilet seat, put it into the middle of the bathroom, and went for it. And in the process made a total mess of the bathroom and himself. I thought I knew what to expect with this end of the toddler/beginning of the preschool stage, but I can promise that this guy is the total opposite of his big brother. This guy keeps me on my toes... and I'm loving every minute of it.

Pajamas

A year or so ago I was complaining to my mom about the lack of pajama selections for Quinn. After he moved out of the toddler sizes and into the regular boy sizes our choices for pjs went down hill. My beloved puppies, teddy bears, dinosaurs, and other fun childish prints were replaced with Spongebob, Spiderman, Scooby Doo, and other obnoxious prints. It made me sad, but not that much, because I knew I'd have a few more years of adorable pajamas with Liam.

Sadly, Liam prefers to pair up his pajama shorts or pants with a plain white under shirt. This evening I was able to distract him from his usual choice of pajamas (he was too busy focusing on his latest owie) and managed to get him into one of my favorite pair of pajamas - complete with the adorable shirt!

A New Bed.

We finally got around to getting Liam into a Big Boy Bed. Actually, it's not as though we wanted to do this any sooner and I'm pretty sure he would have loved to have stayed in his crib a bit longer. But, you know, he did turn three last week (oh wait - Bad Mommy Blogger did not do the birthday post. yet. I'll get to it, I promise). So anyway, he did turn three and well, there's a lot of pressure to get your three year old into a Big Boy Bed. Well, that and he was getting heavy. So we did.

We actually had the frame for about 4 years - when we put Quinn into his Big Boy Bed we purchased a bunk bed that could be used separately - so the pieces to Liam's frame has been hiding throughout the house.

Yesterday I took the boys to the mattress store and ordered a mattress. Not surprisingly, the decision on which one to get was one hundred times easier than when Mike and I went shopping for Quinn's mattress. I mean, with Quinn being the first one we really wanted to make sure we got the right one. This time, I walked in the store, told the nice salesmen I needed a twin size mattress. Not the most expensive and not the cheapest. He showed me a few. I refused to sit on the one covered with pictures of Spongebob - and the decision came down to two - one that felt a bit like the type of mattress you might have to sleep on at some hotel. So clearly, we went with the other one.

Anyway... today Mike assembled the frame (without instructions!), Liam hung out in the living room on his new mattress, and I put together Liam's new Big Boy Room.

His crib was taken apart and placed in the garage. And I didn't even cry. I kind of, sort of, wanted to, but not really. It's just another milestone in his life, right? I mean, these kids, they just keep on growing up.

He's pretty much happy with his new room. He keeps saying I gave him "too much", but that he likes "too much." I'm not quite sure what he's talking about - maybe the sticker things on the wall??



And tonight when I tucked him in he said to me, "Don't make it too scarey." I really think kids lose some sense of security when they move out of their crib. But, he fell asleep and, so far, so good...

Two Days

At one o'clock in the morning before his surgery Quinn cried out, "Mommy, I'm scared." I wasn't sure what it was he was afraid of, but I crawled into his pull-out bed at the Ronald McDonald House and assured him everything would be okay. I also told him I was a little scared too, but knew that everything would be okay.

Exactly 24 hours later I was sitting by his bedside as he cried out in pain, "Mommy, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts." I stroked his hair and assured him that it wouldn't always hurt this bad as I waited for the tylenol with codeine to kick in and do it's job. This was the first round of trying the tylenol instead of the morphine.

An hour later he was still in pain and restless so the nurse gave him morphine. He slept soundly for three hours until the doctors and nurses started checking him out.

There were a lot of moments during those two days that were so hard. So many moments where I stopped to remember how thankful I am that my children are, in general, healthy children and this little adventure was just a very short-term affair.

As we were in the pre-op room waiting for things to get going a "child specialist" came and talked with Quinn about what was going to happen. She talked about the special sleepy medicine that he'd breath in, she showed him the special mask where the medicine would come out, and she let him "paint" a good smelling smell inside the mask to hide the real smell of the medicine. He choose bubble gum.

She also gave him a "shadow doll" to demonstrate the different things that would be happening to him with the doll. He told me I could hold the doll while he was in the operating room, because, "It's my shadow. Since you can't come with you can hold the doll."

While waking up in the recovery room Quinn was nervous that he'd be too heavy for Mike and I to carry around. I told him that's exactly why I go to the gym and that's exactly why his daddy works out in the garage - so we'd be strong enough to carry him.

He ate a total of three popsicle during his recovery period. Each time he remembered to say please and thank you - even in his drunken state.

The doctors and nurses kept warning us that children are a bit "grumpy" when they wake up after surgery. I kept doubting that would be Quinn, but figured I was wrong. Nope. The nurse in the recovery room was amazed at how calmly he woke up. She said the first thing he asked for was a popsicle. And then he wanted the tv on. Each time he said please.

Friday morning was spent with Quinn crying to go home. "I just want to go home and leave these stupid casts at the hospital."

Now that we're home, Quinn only recounts the good parts of his little adventure to family and friends...

"I got to play in the water that the face spit out." (Millennium Park - the day before)

"I only took like 5 or 10 breathes of the medicine and then I fall asleep. It smelled like bubble gum."

"The doctor didn't let me eat after midnight because he didn't want me to throw up on him. That would be gross."

"I got room service."

"I ate hot dogs and milkshakes. And so many popsicles."

"The nurses thought I'd be grumpy, but I wasn't."

"The doctor gave me more bone to help my feet."

"I get to use a wheel chair!"

"I can pee in a bottle."

A Mother's Day to Remember...

First - go check out these adorable interviews with my boys from Disney World. I love it!

I was sure this was going to be the third Mother's Day in a row in which Mike would be sick.

He was sick Thursday night. Stayed home from work Friday. Still felt sick on Saturday. Thankfully, for me, he was feeling better today.

I was able to do exactly what I wanted today.

I slept in and woke up to see Quinn helping Liam with a puzzle on the floor.

We ate pancakes for breakfast and Mike took the boys outside while I cranked out the laundry and cleaned out our bedroom. (yes - I wanted to do laundry today!) While outside Mike and the boys planted flowers and blueberry bushes.

For breaks every once in awhile I'd go outside and watch the two boys riding their bikes. Liam just learned how to pedal and Quinn is now riding without training wheels!

After lunch I ran out and did some shopping - since this is one of my last free weekends for a long time...

Came home later and we all went out to dinner!

Perfect.

Much better than the last two years.

Also - I think Quinn's teacher really drilled into them the fact that it was, in fact, "Mother's Day". He kept wanting to help me and was SO good all day long. What a sweetie.

Spring Break 2010 - AKA - Toddler's Gone Wild

So, the plans I had for our spring break didn't really work out. Sure, the weather was fabulous. The best spring break weather I remember in a long time. But with a sinus infection, ear infection, some bronchitis, and allergies coming to visit - we didn't have the energy to go anywhere or do anything. (Those illnesses were shared between three of us.)

Instead, we layed around the house - watching movies... not really doing much of anything. Sure, I'll get an urge to clean up a little - and I focus on one room and then I'm exhausted. Out of the three of us, Liam's been the luckiest. Just an ear infection that we caught early. So, as I've been laying around, almost asleep, he's been, um, having a run of the house, I suppose. Locked doors, lost membership cards that I vaguely remember watching him pretend with, dumped puzzle pieces, kitchen spices taken out of the cabinets, pots, pans, spoons, etc... Oh... and this...


I also vaguely remember the boys thinking it was the funniest thing to run around the house in nothing but their undies. Maybe it was funny...

High Fructose Corn Syrup...

Are any of you watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution? Wow. That's all I can say.

Over here at "the Tub" we are label readers. Mike is a pro - he does most of the shopping - and has a long list of things to avoid when buying food for our family.

The other day I took the boys to the grocery store mid-week to replenish our fruit supply. Anyway, we decided to try and find some fruit snacks for the boys. Every single box Quinn brought to me had high fructose corn syrup in it. So much so, that he started to find that ingredient himself on the packaging. After awhile, he stopped checking fruit snacks with cartoons on them saying, "I know this will have corn syrup in it, because the Curious George ones and the Nemo ones and all the other ones for kids had it in it." And so he started looking at the more "healthy" looking boxes - all of which had the HFCS in it. We settled on freeze-dried fruit. Not as fun looking... but all that's in a package of freeze-dried bananas and strawberries are, believe it or not, freeze-dried bananas and strawberries (about one banana and 4 strawberries). And it's not as though we manage to keep the HFCS out of everything - our ketchup and relish has it.

I will admit, we are not the best example of the "Best Foods" to eat or feed your family, but I'm proud of the awareness we've taught the kids. We try our best, but at the same time our kids are allowed to eat snacks and desserts - especially when we're out visiting other people.

Quinn's been sick. Honestly, we've all been sick, but today was Quinn's day to feel the worst. After dinner I offered him one of the sugar cookies we made the other day and he turned it down... he said, "No. That's just like candy. That's not going to help me get better. I should have some fruit... maybe an apple with the skin on?" Uh. Okay.

What a weirdo.

Almost Over

So this week, this week I have no control over, is almost over.


My mom did stellar in her surgery. She's home now with a sore throat. The tumor appears to be benign, but we'll know for sure in a few weeks.


I totally had a panic attack on my way to my kickboxing class - only because I didn't hear from my sister after my sister actually saw my mom after surgery. Sure, my sister talked to me after the surgery and told me that Mom was in the recovery room and the doctor was pleased with how it went... but still, I guess I needed to hear that my sister had actually seen Mom and talked to her. Anyway, this little panic attack, and the fact that I couldn't get a hold of my sister, caused me to be one of those people that carries their cell phones out of the locker room and upstairs at the gym. I hate those people. At least, I hate that they can't be away from their phone for an hour. But yeah, I was one of them, and at our first break for water during class I checked my phone and had to call my sister back. But let me tell you, I was able to focus so much better in class after talking to my sister.


I called her after class was finished and she was quick to point out that we all have our own addictions. Mine just happens to be working out. Which, if I had to pick an addiction to have, well, this one's not that bad. I remember when I was waiting for our flight to take off for Florida during a Winter Storm Watch, I kept telling Mike, "I just want to go running." I actually did do some yoga poses in the airport while waiting.


In the meantime, I've been watching my friend's 3 month old baby girl. I started this week and will be watching "Baby Rayna" until the end of the school year on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The biggest difference from having your own baby and watching someone else's is this: With my own babies after trying to get them to sleep and learning that really, they just wanted to sleep in my arms, I'd get frustrated. I'd wonder when I could ever lay them down. With this baby I realized I find it flattering that she prefers my arms. And I know, I won't be holding her all night long, all day long, for the rest of my life. Just until 4 o'clock or so. I sort of wish I would have been more flattered that my own babies wanted me to hold them all the time and less frustrated. If my memory serves me, I did enjoy that more with Liam, but with Quinn, my first, I really thought that would never end. I couldn't imagine ever sleeping through the night again. And now I know. This Baby Rayna goes home, we have dinner, play, and I put the boys in their beds and know, that most likely, it'll be quiet in our house until morning. Gosh, I love my sleep. Oh? And also? There's quite a few things I miss about the baby stage, but so far, this babysitting gig has not caused me to want a third child. Not. at. all.


And tomorrow is registration for my preschool program. I call it mine, even though I don't actually own it. Well, I "own" it, but not legally or anything. So, I'm planning on wearing my "K-Prep Rocks" shirt a parent gave me a few years ago. Cheezy, I know, but funny at the same time, right?

Decisions

Ah.

So, this could be a very long story. A long story involving budget cuts, the State not paying programs they've promised to pay, school board meetings, meetings with superintendents, revised plans, and oh so many other things. My school year has not been an easy one.

But I'll keep it short.

Sort of.

The 3 day/week preschool program I've taught for the past 8 years has been eliminated by the school board.

I need to decide if I want to work full-time or stay home and watch other people's babies for a few years.

If this was two years earlier - easy decision to stay home. If this was two years in the future - easy decision to work full-time.

But it's now. Liam will be three. Quinn will be starting kindergarten. I was really looking forward to being able to continue to be involved in his school.

Sounds like I should stay home...

Except, with things the way they are with Illinois schools, things are not going to be getting better any time soon, especially when it comes to early childhood programs (State not paying their bills). And, I have a little seniority at my district, which means if I stay full-time I won't be at the bottom of the chain, and trust me, at the bottom of the chain is a crappy place to be. If I am able to get a full time job I should take it now while I can.

And then... what if Mike loses his job? He swears this is impossible and his company continues to make profits year after year, but still. Where would we be if he did lose his job? Me watching babies... no insurance, no steady income...

Sounds like I should work...

Except today I was able to go into Quinn's classroom and watch his teacher lead twenty 5-year-olds in a make-shift band. It was awesome.

See. Totally not an easy decision - one that I know moms all over the world make all the time. And one that I know some moms don't have the luxury to even think about.

Also - I won't even go into how important I believe this program is. And how many parents are outraged by the decision the school board made. And how it literally makes me sick to my stomach to think about the things this school board may be willing to cut.

Coooookies

This morning I spent some time with the boys making cookies for Santa.

Of course, there are pictures...

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

When we were finished, Liam said, "Let's go!"

Where?

"To mall."

No, we're not going to the mall today.

"Give cookies to Santa."

Also, you can totally judge me for buying the pre-made sugar cookie dough. But seriously, between the rolling, the cutting, the baking, the decorating, and the washing of the dishes - who wants the mess of also making the dough? not me.

Slowing Down

That title doesn't really fit our family, but anyway...

Saturday I was wishing Mike and I had a grown up party to go to. One where I could put on a dress. I mean, really, what's the use of working out if you never get to wear a dress. (Somebody, please, get married, so I can wear a dress.)

So, there we were with nothing to do. We have a lot of days like this. I usually love it, but for some reason, I was being a bit of a sourpuss about it Saturday.

That is until the boys started playing "Santa". Each had a pillow case and would approach Mike and I asking, "What would you like for Christmas?" And then, magically pulling that item out of their Santa Sack. Then they took turns playing Santa with each other. Then, they took turns being Rudolph and pulling the sleigh of the other, Santa. (This was funny and involved the use of a jump rope and "Santa" scooching on his buttom while "Rudolph" crawled in front.) Anyway, this pretend play with my two boys lasted a good 40 minutes and totally made me realize how lucky we were that we weren't out doing last minute shopping, or spending the day cleaning the house for a babysitter, or trying to keep them out of our hair while we got ready for a grown-up party, or stressing about how I looked, or...