Amazing

This morning we bundled the kids up to take them outside to play in what will hopefully be the last snowfall of the season. Quinn's snow pants were just a tad too short on him - could he have really grown that much in just a few months?

Tonight as I was singing to and rocking Liam before laying him down for the night I was trying so hard to figure out a way to preserve what I smell, feel, see, and hear while spending that time with him. The way he runs into his room first, to climb up onto his chair and laugh and laugh and laugh as I pretend to sit on his lap, all before scooping him up and sitting down with him. And the way he curls up on me, or sits up on my lap and laughs at the song he's asked me to sing (lately, it's been The Sneezing Song), or the way he'll lay across my lap, place his head on the arm of the chair, and ask to hold my hand under his body while I rock and rub his back - all with the sweetest smile on his face. Sometimes he tries to sing along and the way he sings, "chocolate chip cookie..." just makes me smile every time. Oh, the smell of his skin, his hair - some days like maple syrup, others like his daddy's cologne, and other days he smells so clean after his bubble bath. But it's the days in between those, the smell I cannot describe, that I want to remember. These times, before naps and bedtimes, that I have with him are so precious to me, so hard to describe, I'm afraid I won't be able to remember how it all makes me feel. Amazing, these kids of mine.

Tonight as I was tucking Quinn into bed and getting ready to sing to him (another made up song, tonight's request was, "a song about all the days that you love me, mommy") he asked me to set up his blanket over his pillow, but then changed his mind and said, "oh, never mind mommy. I'm growing up now, so I can do lots of things that you can do, so I'll just do it." I'm not sure what I said, but we ended up talking about how he IS growing up, and how I'll always love him even when he's grown up, and if he ever needs help, I can still help him even when he's big and tall. And to that he said, "yeah, and if you need help, when I'm big and tall and live far away from you, you can just call me on the phone and I can come over and help you. We'll help each other when I'm all grown up too. Just like we do now." Sigh. Amazing, these kids of mine.